Wednesday, October 20, 2010
12:29PM - On my own
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I went back to NY Saturday night. it took 2 1/2 hours to get back. Some how I managed to get a nose bleed while driving. Fun stuff. Driving in CT is fine until you hit the cities. People who drive in Hartford should be shot. I know everyone speeds, shit I've driven on the NY Thruway enough to know that. For those who don't know the speed limit is 65 on the thruway, which translates to 85, and that's to keep up with traffic.
Still, the thruway is fairly straight, even the curves are gentle enough that you don't worry about slowing down. Not so in Hartford! so yes, four lanes in one direction, hard turns and folks doing 80 in a 50,all after I just got off my Saturday late shift. Yes I really wanted to go see my family.
That's the weird thing, I never used to get homesick. At 19 I left for Americorps on my birthday for god's sake. It seems as I get older I'm less OK with being alone. On top of this work is becoming increasingly difficult, and I'm having a hard time keep with the pace. I'm always behind on the number of stories I have set up or the number I have ready for the next week. It's tough. I've lived in Connecticut for a little over a month, I'm just getting real contacts together. It doesn't seem to matter to my superiors. They're not unsumpathetic, but at the same time they just have too much to do to be bothered with what I'm doign or not doing. In a sense everyone keeps telling me "You're trying really hard and not getting enough accomplished." and when I ask "What should I be doing differently or more of?" I just sort of get a non-committal "Just try harder."
If trying hard at your job cause physical friction I'd have caught fire and burned to death by now.
My schedule is also becoming a problem. I've written to death about this, but it's on going. I work Tuesday through Saturday, and Friday and Saturday I work the late shift. Often I have my work accomplished by 7 or 8 p.m. This means I've got to sit and wait for people to get killed/maimed/robbed/rob another person/do something crazy enough to write about, for another hour and a half to two hours. So usually I get out by 9:30 p.m. or 10 p.m. Last Friday I work until 11 p.m. because there were a bunch of craziness(seriously, one armed robbery, a drug bust, a car vs. pedestrian fatal, and a non-fatal hit and run.) I rarely get to go out because of this. No one goes out on Sundays in CT because, well its Sunday, and Monday neither. I am going to take advantage of the fact that there's a bar right down the street from me, and that I work late on Fridays, which means I can get some drinks in me Thursday evening without too much to worry about.
Overall, I've been better. The lack of a social life and catching heat at work sucks. Being 150 miles from everyone I know also sucks. On the plus side, Aly from work is really becoming a good friend. Actually she's coming to the bar Thursday, we're going to be buddies in social awkwardness. I also snagged some neat furniture while I was in NY, so I'm paring down on the creative use of cardboard boxes(as end tables, coffee tables and even an ottoman.)
Also a plus, being able to eat and actually pay for things. Having a job and busting my ass at least allows me to live fairly comfortably for a lone 24 year old.
I"m just going to keep going, keep working, and get my shit done. Because, really, I've got nobody to rely on but me right now, so I have to get my shit done or no one else will.
Friday, October 8, 2010
I like this one.
If I were a detective it would be peripheral to my day job, so I'd be a crime fighting journalist. My stories would inadvertently lead me to a mystery of some sort. Being that I'm a journalist in a small town the mysteries would revolve around small town living. After all the biggest secrets are best hidden in small places.
I think my nemesis would be the town manger. He would be someone I know has his hand in every pot, and is always up to something. However he's just a little ahead of my research and interviews so i can never pin anything substantial down on him. Of course the town's school superintendent would also be in on the whole deal, maybe even some of the town council. Again, they're the ones pulling the strings. on a lot of the weird things happening in our sleepy little town. And perhaps some of them aren't really bad, who knows?
I would totally have a catch phrase, it would be the first thing I say to everyone when I introduce myself to people while I'm working.
"Hi I'm Charlie, I'm a reporter for the Norwich Bulletin."
Monday, October 4, 2010
10:38PM - Here we are
So I'm starting to dislike my schedule.
Quite simply, all I do is work. I get Sunday and Monday to myself. What is there to do on Sunday and Monday? Yeah, you guessed it, fuck and all. Not only that, every other person in the world has a normal weekend. Forget going to visit people. Hell I can't even go get drunk on a Saturday night because I get off work at 9:30 p.m. By that time all I want to do is eat diner and get some sleep. Sundays alcohol isn't served in Connecticut. So here we are.
I'm not disappointed with life. I have a great job. I'm actually doing what I went to college to do. Even though I'm still learning a ton of shit and constantly feel like I'm behind the ball I like it. Hell I've never been able to say to a cop "so what's happening here" with out the cop getting pissed with me. Now it's more like a mild disdain.
I shouldn't bitch really. I mean I've got a career started here. This is the beginning of me being a journalist. I'm just lonely. I look forward to work so I can talk to my coworkers. I actually really get along with them, especially Ali, she is really fun to talk with. I miss my friends though. I really wonder if I'm going to make any friends out here. I wonder a lot of things out here.
I guess that's about it for now. I'm lonely, a little bored, but I do love what I'm doing. Weird times indeed.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Today was the first day that was hard and unrewarding. I fucked up the other day. I wrote my correction. It happens. I'll deal. I will do my best to not make the same mistake twice. Perhaps I'm growing up.
Then again the same old self confidence issues coming back at me. However I'm begging to think that no one really grows up. You just pretend. I think I'm OK with this.
So what else is new? Tomorrow I'm 24. I guess I'm going to down play it. I don't have anyone around to celebrate with. Ally at work is making me cookies, which is really sweet of her. Honestly I work with two of the best people I could hope to work with on a regular basis.
Ally is a year younger than me, and she's just a really cool person. She gets my weird stories and she laughs at my jokes. Plus she knows what she's doing.
Emily is my direct supervisor, and the bureau chief. She's almost a year older than me, and she's been at the paper for two years. She's got way more experience than me, and it amazes me that we're almost the same age. Emily has the journalist instinct that I'm still developing.
Then there is me. I'm expecting too much of myself. I feel like I should know everything about this place already. That has to stop. I've got to just expect to keep learning about where I am, and what I'm doing. After all I moved to a place I've never even considered living before, let alone come to before. So in any event, I'm going to keep learning. I'm going to keep writing, and I'm going to keep on keeping on. I'm a journalist, life gets tough sometimes. You deal, you go home and have a drink and relax and get ready for the next day.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
9:35PM - Life in the Nutmeg state.
So it's been two weeks since I moved three hours from NY. I have not made any friends here, and I am not terribly bothered by that. Work takes up most of my time, and in my off time I've been reading and working on my guitar playing.
( Life on my own is pretty nice.Collapse ) I keep expecting the rug to be pulled out from under my feet, but so far it hasn't happened. I'm living in a large one bedroom apartment which is literally walking distance from my office. Unfortunately the nature of journalism requires me to always have my car ready at work. My rent is pretty cheap, and I only pay for my electric utility. Unfortunately that means my heat is electric, so i can expect to pay a bit more in the winter. The interesting thing is that each room's heater can be set independently of the others, so I figure I can save money by setting rooms I'm not in to low, and really heating the room I plan to spend time in. Aside from future planning I love the light this place gets in the afternoon, I'm on the westward side of the building. I'm also just up the street from the local catholic church, and I can hear the bells ring every hour. You might think that would get on my nerves, but it's actually rather soothing.
( Work keeps me damn busy.Collapse ) I work a regular 40 hour week, with the exceptions that I work Tuesday to Saturday and I can do my 40 hours however works best for me. While that might sound like a dream, it really means that the volume of my work determines how late I work. Some days I've worked ten hours, and other six. I pull to late nights a week, Friday and Saturday. This means any hope for a real social life if rather out of the question right now. My one editor(possibly the most straight forward lady I've met) told me flat out that it's bullshit I have to work late both nights. However, shit rolls down hill, and right now I'm at the bottom of the hill. I cover two towns, Killingly and Woodstock. Woodstock if fairly inconsequential, it's small enough to be run by a board of selectmen instead of a mayor or town council. Killingly is my main concern, and also the town I live in. A lot goes on here for a little place. Some might think reporting local issues is dull, well that's a misconception. There is more intrigue in this little place than old Albany.
( Connecticut is a weird place.Collapse ) For one thing, I come from a land that almost requires alcohol to be available every day of the week at almost every hour. Not so in this state. Not only does the Connecticut blue law prohibit the sale of alcohol on Sunday, but you can't buy it after 9 p.m. any day. The moral of the story is stock up on your booze when you can. It's just quirky here, my town manages to keep a general store open, essentially a sears but locally owned. Things just seem to run a bit slower here, plus everyone talks about being new englanders, I'm really not a new englander. New York just sort of stands on it's own in geographic status. I'm just gonna have to deal.
That's really it right now. I'll get paid this week, which is neat. Maybe I'll buy some curtains and a table. I know I'm going to save up for an Xbox and some games. I guess we'll see where all this takes me.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
3:38AM - Life so far
Well.... long time no write. Funny thing about writing for a living, you don't feel like writing at the end of the day. So where do we all stand?
Not sure about you folks, except Gary, who I've been meaning to call.
As for me-
Kicked ass at the internship at the Poughkeepsie Journal. I pulled off six front page stories, which is not the norm for most interns. I was told everything from, "You're the best intern we've had in a long time" to "I wish we could hire you full time, so we're going to make you a free-lancer until we can." I was told to be wary of the place, but I really shined with my work. It paid off
Last week I got a call from the executive editor of the Norwich Bulletin, which is based of Norwich Connecticut(Who would have thought?) Basically I didn't apply to the job, but the executive editor of the journal recommended me to him. So I sent him my work and got an interview this past Monday.
The interview took all day, and was damn hard. I worked just as hard at the interview than at any other internship. I talked with the editor, then wrote an article. It took all day. I left around 7:30 a.m and got back to my parent house at 8 p.m. I was tired, and thought that I fucked it all up
I got a call the next day at 10:30 a.m. from that editor offering me a job. I'm now searching for a place in CT, I start the day after labor day.
I'll be making a decent amount, and get benefits after three months, plus two weeks vacation and six personal days. essentially I've just started my career.
WHAT THE FUCK!
I look back at everything I've done, and it fits I suppose. I'm just amazed. About two weeks after graduating i was offered a job as a full-time journalist. This doesn't happen anymore. Usually you have to go through grad school. I'm really proud of this, and really damn scared. I think of something my ex told me recently, which is that I wasn't ever going to get anywhere and that I'm just a glorified English major.
To this I say- I will get places, I already have. I love my work, and as long as I'm doing that I'm happy no matter where I am. As for the glorified English major? Well, Journalism has a whole separate set of rules that you follow in your writing, so I'm more like an English major but way more interesting. Sorry lady. I hope you do well and find someone who cares about you a good deal, and I'm sorry I couldn't be that fellow. I know you won't say the same to me, don't bother. I'm happy doing what I do. I like my work, and I realize that I'm more than happy about that.
Don't know how much more I'll write here. I may start a blog about Connecticut and how I am with living them. I'll keep you all posted. Hasta luego
Monday, April 26, 2010
10:56PM - Fear and Loathing in Albany
I don't think I've ever really been left anywhere before, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Friday it was decided Cat, Alan, and I would go to Albany. I wanted to be around punk bands, a punk scene to take some notes for something I'm working on. I also wasn't adverse to going to a good show. Well, cat was kind enough to drive us all up there. However about an hour before we go she explains she's not going to the place we are, but she'll be there later. Alan and I aren't much phased by this. So we went to the Stench show and hung outside drinking 40oz' and generally being surly. But it was a good time. The one thing I find difficult to stomach about punk scenes are that like any group of people, it's dramatic and self absorbed. Albany is no different, but at least I had an in through Allen, so I was treated with mild indifference.
The night progressed, we got drunk. good times. We get a call from Cat while we're walking across town to some punkhouse. Cat got her nose fractured and was going to the hospital, and that was all she said.
We got to the house, drank more, I watched kids get tattooed in a living room. Kinda gross, but so are punks. We didn't sleep until sunrise. Much madness in between.
Then after about four hours of fitful sleep on crappy couches, Alan and I get woken up by another call from Cat. She's leaving us in Albany so she can go to Connecticut. There was no haggling, just a couple of miles to walk to the bus station. It was a strange weekend. I regret nothing about it. Maybe that i didn't try to make friends with those punks, but I don't need the drama and they seem to have enough friends.
School is almost done, so am I.
PS.- a quick shout out to my ex-girlfriend. Always nice to hear from you, you have a great knack of calling to tell me how shitty a person I am at the worst time. I guess that's your point. Well remember, its been two years. I don't think about you. Nothing personal, but I do try to enjoy myself instead of dwelling on mistakes that I cannot correct. I hurt you, and I am sorry for that whether you believe me or not. To constantly crucify myself for those past mistakes serves no purpose, why do you do it? I fucked up and hurt you, please move on. You are dating someone, I hope he's better than me. I hope he's a good man. I wish you the best in life, simply because I couldn't give you that doesn't mean you don't deserve it or can't have it. If I'm such a fucked up person then put me in your past and be done with me. I hope you have a good life Jess, honestly I do. please don't let my actions impede that.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
4:07PM - April sucks
Dad's in the hospital again. He managed to drive himself to the hospital yesterday when he was having really bad chest pains. The doctors found that his heart is strong, but has a blockage, so he's getting treated for it. I guess it's good that he didn't flat out have a heart attack, but goddamn it this is scary shit.
I also found out today that even though I'm graduating in august, and just six credits shy of graduating in may, I don't get to walk in graduation. there's no other graduation but may. No ceremony, just a piece of paper and a thank you for giving them money for two years. Fuck.
I realize the ceremony isn't important, it's just a day. regardless, I'd like to be there. That's a fucking milestone for a person, it gives a sense of completion. I don't get that, I'll be getting a piece of paper in the mail.
I don't want to play this game anymore
Sunday, March 21, 2010
9:15PM - First show and death
Right, so I've be listening to a defunct band called Death. they managed one album before calling it quits. I might have missed them if it weren't for NPR. Honestly I really like their album, it's pretty much what I like about the whole proto-punk sound, hard rocking guitars that are almost the same speed as early punk bands and their lyrics are intense. I highly recommend them.
So I joined a band a few weeks back. We're a Power Violence band. It's pretty much hardcore punk only angrier and our songs are 30 seconds long just about. I "sing", but it's more like just shouting my lungs out. Anyway we were really tight throughout all our practices. I'm not terrible for having never been the front man for a band before, my guitarist and drummer are both really talented, and the other singer(yeah no bass, but two singers) has done the whole front man thing before. In any event, our first show was utter chaos.
We thought we were playing first. Nope, last. Ok, fine, cool. Well the other singer got into some weird ass mood and drank himself silly. I mean he wasn't making complete sentences after a while. So it's about 1 a.m. when we're suppose to go on. one of us for got a second mic and our drummer has to take off to get it. in between this time James our other singer promptly turns drunkenly to me and the guitarist as well as all our friends and says "I go home now." I tried to stop him, he tried to fight me.
So will returns with the mic, and upon finding out about James says "He's fired." We go on with me and one other person who's never practiced with us before. the mic breaks in the middle of the set and I screamed my lungs out for the last half alone.
We got real applause.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
11:29AM - and now the school report
That is report on the school.
Well, lets see. J2 is actually worth getting up at 6:30 for. My professor is actually a working journalist, and he always has really good stories to tell and show us. Also I was worried about having to cover a beat. He tossed that idea out because the class is too damn big for everyone to actually work on things they want to. instead we have a more free form sort of reporting.
Advanced editing is pretty neat, to my surprise. I'm a Multimedia Web Editor, which means I get to do sound and video editing, and think of interesting ways to implement them. I'm also responsible for at least three pieces of original content for the website, and they can be pretty much anything I want. I'm really happy about that, I'm going to do at least one radio piece so that will be fun. It's a ton of work, but in a good way.
Arts writing is.... ehh. I'm a little underwhelmed by the course. I like the idea of music writing, which it should be called. I certainly like the challenge of writing a music review that makes sense. However a lot of the class revolves around what everyone else in the class thinks of your work. This might be a problem because my tastes seem to differ heavily from everyone else there. I guess I'll never get past the reaction people have when I tell'em my favorite kind of music is punk. It's like dropping back into high school for a second. Needless to say my peers there are more into the indie/hipster scene. I do legitimately like some indie stuff, but it's so very broad, and the stuff coming out of NYC( where many of these kids hail from) isn't interesting me right now.
Music of the world is a really calming class about the basics of music(duh) and I can honestly say that spending over an hour twice a week learning this and hearing examples through classical music is incredibly relaxing.
Indians of North America is just as boring as it was last spring.
Monday, January 25, 2010
12:14AM - first day of class tomorrow
So here it is, my last real semester in college. It seems like only a short time ago I was in Utah debating the pros and cons of such an undertaking with Optigon. Then came Cobleskill and its highs and lows, and my decision/realization that journalism is what I want to do with my life. Now here I am 1.5 years into my time at New Paltz, and only a short time left to go. I don't honestly believe I'll be getting done in four years.
In any event, I've got 'The World of Music' at 9:25 tomorrow morning. Its a throw-away course and something I can dig I suppose. I've never heard anything bad about the subject, and it preclude music majors which is cool. Nothing like knowing almost nothing about an elective course you go to take and realizing you are surrounded by floks that have been studying this shit since the age of two.
I'm also re-taking Indians of North America. I might present my situation to the Prof. During her office hours and maybe we can work something out. Honestly, the lady makes an interesting subject into something that made me stab myself with a pencil to keep awake.
So thats two. then Tuesday I have my eight a.m. journalism II class. Four damn years and I pull my only eight a. m. class in my final semester. I then have nothing until four-thirty that afternoon. I'm taking arts writing, which was a course I wanted but didn't get last spring because they fired the prof. over winter break. Wednesday I'm free, thursday I have my music class, Indians, and Advanced editing.
I'm going to try very, very, very hard to get through advanced editing. I'm a decent writer, but I'm shit at grammar. Furthermore I really have no interest in the editing process, it's mind-numbing. I also dislike this prof's teaching method. I'm not saying I could do better, but I disagree with using student's work as examples of what not to do, while leaving their names in view and making semi-snide remarks. I'm sorry you work for a failing magazine lady, please don't take it out on my and my co-horts. Final nail in the coffin, it's four hours in a room without a window.
Friday is another eight a.m. class, and thus ends my week.
I'm seeing a lot of things change very quickly now. My sister has left with her Boyfriend for the west coast indefinitely. My other older sister and her husband will be leaving by August to travel around the country in search "of what they want in life." They're both quite comfortable and could have kept doing what they were on Long Island, but both of them don't want to be there, and have decided to try for happy over comfortable. My little sister is going to college in the fall, four hours from home. it would seem my family has finally made good on it's promises to get the hell out of Orange county NY. I never thought I'd feel sad about it.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
9:57PM - Thus Endeth The Lesson
There you have it folks, I'm no longer a full time journalist. Hell, it's back to being a student for another semester. I can't say I haven't learned anything or that I didn't enjoy it. I enjoyed every damn minute of it.Well not every minute. I remember quite a few times where I felt overwhelmed, and that doesn't include the times I've thought about murdering my roommate in his sleep. Those are minor things. Besides I found out the little bastard is going to be pay 700$ a month not including utilities for his next apartment. This is in upstate NY, Catskills. He's gonna go broke with what he'll be making. When i did the math on that I grinned ear to ear. I'm not a man to wish other misfortune, but I know Karma when I see it.
So the last edition of the paper I'll be writing for comes out tomorrow online-Legislativegazette.com
One of my story's will be on the front page. I like going after breaking news. I like to see things unfold in front of me. My front page story is about the governor getting sued by different school advocate groups. I wish I could keep covering it for the paper. Oh well, I was there when the shit hit the fan and I'm OK with that. Out side of tht, I did a quick piece on the state health commissioner get his H1N1 shot. good for him, it was a little piece, but it was nice. I got to do a fun lead for it. I also got to do a short thing about the governor signing an executive order that says LGBT state workers cannot be discriminated against because of their gender identity. Thats a nice way of saying to state agencies " You can't call them FAGs no more!" Honestly I think we're a little behind on this sort of thing. Folks in the LGBT community are just that, folks. They're human-beings and capable of doing a job just as I, a straight man, am. You know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE GODDAMN PEOPLE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!!
.....sorry about that, I get a little excited sometimes.
Anyway, all thats left to do is deliver papers one more time Tuesday, hand in our ID cards(No more bringing sharp objects into the capitol, boo!) and that is that. Oh yeah, I also have to pack. I hate moving, I really do.
It's strange now though. We've had the weekend off, we have tomorrow off too. I feel a little aimless knowing that I'm not going in tomorrow and working on a new story. I want the work, I like the work. dammit, I don't want to go back to being a student.
Which reminds me I have a couple of ideas for projects I can do in my spare time.
1. I want to start playing music again. i had a band going, and I know that band won't be getting back together seeing as my bassist hightailed it for Tennessee to go to black-smithing school. However My two other band-mates are still around and rather interested in my idea. I'm thinking of something really heavy, or heavier than I've been playing. Alternately I was thinking of using open-tuneing to play slide guitar and have kinda heavy blues sound. In anye vent I want to incorporate the the sound from the Bud Dwyer shooting- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bud_Dwyer
Long story short, this fellow shot himself on live television. Strange deaths have always fascinated me, and his is actually recorded for the world to see. I've watched it, I know its morbid, it's quite horrible actually, but I think that there is something incredible about it, and I want to use it in conjunction with the next music I make.
2. I've been thinking of politically incorrect state quarters because I find the current batch of state quarters rather boring. literally Kansas has a buffalo,and North Dakota has two buffalo. How very representative. Bleh!
3. maybe a real blog? This thing is for my ramblings, nothing special. I often wish I could spend more time better informing people of how they can become better informed on the goigns on in our country. That would be nice.yes I know that's called journalism, but I mean in ther ways.
4. short stories.I miss that sort of writing. I also have a glut of random stories from life recently(fancy that!) so maybe I'll do that.
so thats that really. Have a good Christmas, or whatever you like to celebrate. I generally celebrate being alive, and if you'll excuse me there's a beer in my fridge that would like to come help me celebrate.
Monday, December 14, 2009
11:27PM - where have I come from?
So it's the last full week of the internship. I feel like our editors just want us gone, after telling us last week that we're the worst class in three years I can't imagine why. Still I feel I've done my best work as a journalist here so far. I've gotten a chance to cover news that usualy only the top folks in the state get to cover, and I've done it well, for the most part.
So where have I come from? My fear of calling stangers is all but gone now. Everyone has it, journalist vary often have it worse. However I've just gotten used to it. I put on my smooth radio voice and and call up the folks I need to hear from, and then try to impress upon them just how important I feel their words are to my piece.
I've learn a lot more about reporting, and my note taking has become a lot better. I can tie a tie and look like a snappy dresser. I can detect bulshit from a mile off. I have so much to learn you can't even begin to grasp it.
Everything I mentioned is only the very tip of the iceberg as far as my evolution as a journalist.
where am I going? Back to school for another semester, and then the big wide world. I don't know where from there. I don't think anyone does. I've always worked in a "I'll wing it" sort of manner. I don't organize, and it can affect my progress. However, I've noticed that you can't really fully plan for the future, and at the young age of 23 I can't see why I'd want to. I want to take things as they come. I want to go out and grab a job in some random place, just pack up and go work for some news paper somewhere out there. It sounds slightly immature, and in a way it is. however I'm ok with it. I can feel the wind at my back, I'd like to set sail
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
I already knew this I suppose. I'm about half way done with the book "Parliment of Whores." Basicly O'rourke details in a most amusing manner just how messed up American government and buracracy really is. I'm glad I saved the funny one for last as a book report. I'm sad that I'm rushing to finish it and deliver a mediocre 8 page book report on it by friday. Of everything involing the internship, this is the one thing I will never miss.
So in the last week I've managed to: get another parking ticket, get locked out of the office without my keys or coat and have to abandon my car downtown for the night, and make a mistake that will force a correction to be written on my behalf. Batting a thousand lately.
Honestly the parking ticket I will contest, maybe. The sign say I couldn't park there on Tuesday was blocked by a tree, the one before that was so worn out you couldn't read it. the whole keys in the office happened today, and that sucked a lot. I basicly got home at six when everyone else got to leave at 3:30 becaus eI was off interviewing a person face to face. I take care in my work and this happens.
Speaking of taking care in my work, I managed to tell someone that person we took aa photo of for the aper was in fact someone else. I actually got the nicest email ever relating the mistake, to which I appoligized and said that a correction would be runn next week, and that we would fix the mistake on the website.The person even told me after my appoligy that if I ever have anymore stories that involved her group to please call her and that they were " a wealth of information." They even sent me a press release for some event that probably wasn't worth covering. Still i commited the cardnal sin of journalism, I didn't do enough fact checking. I feel like twelve tons of ass, or I would.
You see right now I'm just too damn busy to get into an emotional state over fucking up. In the past this sort of thing would drive me into a good week's worth of depression and whineing over how "I shouldn't be doing this, I'm obviously not good enough to try, woah is motherfuckign me!"
Not this time kids. I've got too much to do right now. I've got articles to work on, I've got a book report that needs to be done, I'vegot sanity to lose. I'll commit ritual suicide later, but for right now fuck off.
Quite simply I care that I fucked up, but there's no use crying over what is done. It is, we'll make it better. feeling bad won't help, learning will. Hey that sounded a little bit mature didn't it? I am going to ask my editor what he thinks of my work, honestly. I want to know, because I need to improve. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I doubt I'm one of the better reporters there right now. But I am there, and I am a fuckign reporter, and I'm going to become one of the better reporters because I really don't care about anything else.
Friday, December 4, 2009
11:30PM - Funny thing about equality
You know, being a journalist requires you to never lie in your work. If you tell lies you get the boots, you get disgraced and you never work in the industry again most likely. However, the one exception is that sometimes you have to lie to yourself. You have to lie and believe that you can be objective in any situation, when in fact you know you can't. By lying this way you actually do work objectivly, and thus you have a modern news paper.
I bring this all up because the New York state Senate voted down the marriage equality act 24 to 38. This act would allow state courts to perform marriages for smae-sex couples, or it would have allowed for it. I saw the bill debated and voted on first hand. I literaly watched part of history take place last Wednesday, and it pissed me off something great.
I wrote about the issue, I caught all the backlash from the Senators who supported the bill, and the governor, fuck even the state comptroler chimed in on how disapointed he was over the bill's failure. In a sense I was writing he story I wanted to, I'd rather do that than write about the bill's failure and include someone who was excited over the bill's failure. We used an AP story for that.
However I just can't properly put forth my feelings about what happend Wednesday in the news paper. Journalisticly it isn't ethical. In my job I'm there to inform perople of the news, not my opinion of the news. That all said, Fuck every Senator who voted no. Quite specificaly, Fuck you Senator Diaz. You are no more a Democrat than I am a dolphin. Rueben Diaz, who is a New York City conservative Democrat was the only person to speak against passing the bill. 18 other Senators spoke for it. To them, I do appluad. I feel their dissapointment, but now they have to get back to work. They have to make sure that the next time this bill gets to the floor they have every vote needed for it to pass.
Same-sex marriage isn't about morality. it's not about the sanctity of marriage or what the bible tells us. Same Sex marriage is about people who love each other being able to get married. It doesn't matter that they are both female, or both male. It is simply a matter of civil rights that I believe has been neglected for far too long. Frankly it sickens me to know that people who are considered leaders in New York feel that other humanbeings are not entitled to the same rights that straight New Yorkers enjoy just because of thier sexuality, which they do not have a choice over.
I covered a gay rights rally Thursday evening. I've been able to cover a lot of rallys in my time here, but this was the most positive. These people held no honest malice, they just wanted the rights that they should by nature be granted. I wish I could have been there on my own time instead of working. I wanted to shout and yell along with them, even though I'm straight, because it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight. A person's sexuality doesn't take away from the fact that they are just that, a person.
Here was my favorite speech for Gay marriage last Wednesday
Monday, November 30, 2009
9:27PM - so little time
Thanksgiving was pretty nice this year. my unlce and his family came over, which beat both uncles and my aunts plus their families. I really dislike crowds, and most of my relatives for that matter. So it was pleasent, and I got to spend time with my sisters, which is becoming less and less of a normal thing.
Didn't do much other than hangout and eat food. my father bragged about me having two stories on the front page of the paper. I got to show off my work a bit, my sister Rachel seemed to like my photos, and she knows a bit about all that jazz.
My dad conned me into helping him clear the yard of leafes, which killed all of satureday. I woke up the enxt day with a cold. I still have it, I even got told to leave work because of how shitty i feel. I diliked that really, I prefer to be covering the news than to be home stuck doing nothing.
So in only a couple of weeks I'll be done with my internship. it's been so damn quick! honestly, I'm amazed at how fast it went by. I mean I still have time left, but I never have had a semester of school go by so quickly. I imagine it's because I'm not attending classes, just working full time. Well its been fun. However I'm ready for the next adventure, even if it is a bit of a step back.
Monday, November 23, 2009
10:38PM - I'm very tired
Its another week. I have to finish my articles by tommorow if I want to spend thanks giving with my family. I don't much care about the extended relatives, but I would like to be with my entire immediate family. I might be one of the few people in the world that doesn't hate their family members.
I find myselflacking enthusiasim for my stories this week. maybe it was because everyone got to work on their articles, and I got to sit in an all day hearing. If you really want to get bored and sleepy, attend a hearing with some commitee from you state senators. People speak in constant monotones, and well.. it kills me. Furthermore its not much fun to write about: write what B thinks about A, andwhat C, D, and E think about A aswell. I hope you took good notes. yeah well, fuckoff. The only reason A was at the hearing in the first place was because he knew that nothing was going to be done about the state's budget.
I have anew home to go to. I'll be liveing a few minutes out of town by car. I'll have a nice sized room, with decent heating, and no obnoixious roomate as far as I know. At least all the roomates seem to have a life. Yes I've got a nice palce lined up for me. The first question I was asked was if I partied, it was awkward. What do I say? Yes, infact because of my current job I pretty much drink myself to sleep? or do I lie and say I'm a good boy? Well I ixed it, i said yeah Iparty sometimes. It worked out. Aparently the folks in this house are serious about studies until friday, so am I. It might just be that i could form a mutal agreement over enjoying a few too many drinks for my own good. Who honestly knows.
I miss Claire. I didn't realize untill just now actually. I called, and she was at a damn resturant.. The time zone thing really gets me. Still, we miss each other more than not. I iss the understanding she has of me, she's someone who can always relate to what I feel. Oh well, it'smy own doing in a way, I told her to date that fellow out there. I guess it's Karma that his name is Charlie as well.I certainly find it ironic. I know that 90% of the time being alone works out for me. I'm sour and mean, and moody very often. But that 10% of the time otherwise I guess I'm a bit lonely. Well i've made my bed and I'll lie in it. When things change we'll see where we end up, won't we? and I can tell you, change isn't very far off.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
4:20PM - Next semester
Strange to think my college career is coming to an end. In any event, I've got all my classes set now, so i'm pretty well set, outside of a place to live. here's my schedule
Monday: 9:45-10:50 music of the world- nothing like taking a 100 level class to get some credits. I wanted to take a music class that wasn't part of the curiculem for music majors, becasue they kinda suck. The class boast in-class preformances, and other intersting thing. I'm intrigued
12:15-1:30 Indians of north america- I got an incomplete on it, so I have to take it over. Bleh!
Tuesday: 8:00 am-9:15am -J2. well it had to happen, I had to finalyget an 8 am class. too bad. Still, I have to report constantly, I'm covering a beat, so it'll keep me fresh. At least james will be in class with me.
4:30-7:15 arts writeing:I actually only have to take two journalism classes to graduate, but this one seems damn interesting. I tried to get into the class last year, but it was cancled when they forced the professor to leave his job.
Wednesday: NOTHING- I do love this schedule. It affords me a day off in the middle of the week, which will become invaluable come mid-late semester. BEsdies, somedays it will be pretty outside, and I'll get to enjoy them because I'll be free that day. Yay me.
Thursday: 9:45-10:50- music of the world
12:15-1:30 Idians of North America
$:30-8:10 Advanced editing: god I loath this class already. I don't get along with that professor. I never want to be an editor, she loves it. I know thats natural progression for some writers, but who says I want that? I know I need th skills regardless, but dammit 4 hours in that basement with her is equivalent to waterboarding in my opinion.At least she's a fair grader, in that if you try hard and do the work she won't fail you. I got a B+ in copyediting and I worked my ass off for it. however she does play favorites, which i ahte. Overall I'm going to be drinking off some anger thursday evening.
Friday- 8:00 am-10:am J2. Oh drat, my Thursday night of drunken anger is gpoign to be snubed by this class, or will it?! I imaginemnay a hungover friday morning in this class.
And thats that folks. i'll have to do some summer classes, but all in all I'm done. Actually just did the math, I'll only have to do 2 summer classes to get done. FUCK YEAH!!!! so, uh, if you hear anything about people wanting a young journalist they can toss at stories and force to copy edit, let me know. I'll be needing work
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
11:42PM - Minor update
Its late here.
The past two weeks have been exciting, intense, unproductive until the very last moment, and ultimately yielding good stories. The New York state senate has been in "extraordinary session" since last monday. They've passed a total of seven bills, none of which relates to the two the governor wanted them to work on in his adress to the joint session two weeks ago. The marriage equality bill has all but been forgoten, and the deficit reduction plan is still in negotiations. Our state government may just crumble, however it may pull itself out at the last minute.
Its funny to think that in over a month I'll be done here. I had to register for classes this week, I got everything I wanted first try. I'm not excited really. I don't want to leave this now. I don't want the internship to end. I've never been so damn tired before, I've never had less to talk about really. If you called me tommorw I'd only be able to tell you anecdotes about my life covering state politics. Yet this is wonderful to e. I never dread going to work. I never not want to get up to do my job. I always want to write, I always want to investigate and interview people. Whats more, it seems the editors don't mind me running loose with a camera, or trusting me with four stories a week. Thats a lot for a weekly. Everything is due tommorow at noon, and I have one story finished, one almost finished, and two not yet begun. Ahh, deadlines.
To think I'm going to just be a student agian is disheartenting a bit. there will be a gap in my life for a while. I bet it will get filled with hanging out and playing music, and doing school work. I can't wait to graduate now, I want this life back. I want the deadlines, I want the frantic calls to random folks who will help me develop my stories. I want to go to press confrences. It's sick, but this kind of stress makes me happy.
I told my roomate that Albany endears itself to me in a way. this dirty little city full of run down houses and expensive buildings that have no right being there, It seems like it has no right to be important, but it is. I think it's indicative of the legislature. they have no right to be in control, no more than I do, but they are. I'll give you a run down of what I'm takign next semester sometime soon. For now, if you live in New York, I leave you with this: never trust you senator or assemblyman and be very worried about Rick Lazio.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
8:52PM - Madness-continued
New York seems to be crumbleing around me. The noise of the old institutions grinding away is begining to be overwhelmed by the sounds of their supports failing. Thats a bit poetic, but it's the truth right now. The Legislature failed to do anything Tuesday, and today one of the bigest protests I've been around took place. They were health care union folk, looking to tell the governor not to cut money from their profession in any way. everyone says this. Still, it's stirring to see and hear such a huge crowd dedicated to something like this without honest malice. They just want to ensure their patients are given a fair shake, and for that matter themselves as well. It wasn't like the vacination protest I wrote about where they screamed about how time was up for the governor, there I felt a wrong move might have gotten me gutted and skewered on a Tea Party placard.
I wrote two articles this morning, still managed to file by noon without much troubl. One of them will be a page one article, amusingly enough its the one I cared less about. However my article on the Lake Champlain Bridge rally I covered Tuesday morning is one pahge three, which is respectable. it makes me happy to see my articles be news worthy. I've also got a thrid article that was held over from last week back on page eight. Its about a stimulus report regarding the way such money is spent in NY. Basicly it shows that the money is mostly goign to help county government and education. The people I talked to their were very grateful for the federal money, but they warned that if Gov. Paterson's budget goes through all that money will be for nothing.
I have no doubt that the new budget plan will screw a great many people. However we're in a time that calls for everyone to be screwed a little bit. Basicly every state agency, every state run program, anything that gets budget money is going to have to bend over and take it for a while. Spending on the level this state has is no longer possible. Pretending thats not the case will only hurt us further. New York must re-evaluate it's spending prioritites, even though I don't believe they will. I believe, if we're lucky, come next week the Legislature will pass some form of the governor's plan, and then continute in their desctructive methods. You can't reform the state's fiscal practices without seeing the states legislators take pay cuts, and in New York that will not happen. These men and women are our proverbial lords, ruling all over they see with and iron fist. if we're lucky some put a velvet glove over said fist.Republican or Democrat, none will sacrifice power and money for the good of a constituent. They only pretend to, and they do it well.
So yes, there is a heightend tension here in New york's capitol. its a feeling I havent been around often. I feel like all hell could break loose. I feel like a great let down might happen as well. I no longer belive in good and bad senators, they're all mediocre at best. Something needs to get done though. Our state is on the edge of fiscal disater.
And yet, here I sit comfortable and warm. I hear my idiotic roomate laugh to himself in the living room. I imagine it's something I'd find worthy of a smile, as he's easily amused. we're poor, but we're comfortable enough. I think the stae might have to suffer. We all might have to bend over and take it for awhile, just to understand how bad its become. Then maybe something will really get done. I'd only lay a 50/50 chance on it though. There are to many people in this state like my roomate, who only pretend to understand what is happening. They see demonstrations as a waste of time. His catchall for any sort of rally or protest is "It's fuckin stupid." Sorry friend, here's where we disagree. You talk about being American(Albeit, you joke about it more in your crude way), these people are more American thatn you or me. Oh maybe you're a good American in the sense that you consume and watch T.V. durring all your free time. Maybe you see constant pessimis and competition for the sake of proving that you are better as being a good man of your country. I do not. I see people like those out today as good countrymen and women. They are using their rights to the fullest extent. We arn't. I'm as bad as you quite often. I grind on my stories, and then I down enough beer to make myself not think so I can sleep and do it again. Thats my problem, and at least I see it. You think you're doing just fine, and honest friend I think you're in a lot of trouble.
So I'll sleep a bit tonight. I'll get up tommorow, edit, and take my leave. its good too. I get my pay, and then i'm off to see my potential new home for next semester.It sounds pleasent enough, and just far enough from town that I won't ever hear screaming drunks and the whores they're draggin to their beds. Or so i hope. Goodnight.
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